Herpetology and reptile-keeping are male-dominated fields/hobbies, where the credibility of female members is often questioned simply based on their gender. Recently, a meme circulated on Instagram that seemed to further shame the women in this community.
It showed a cartoon of a rat crying while removing her shirt and exposing her bra… I realize the ridiculousness of that sentence.
The meme read, “when girls who run a reptile page aren’t getting too many likes on their posts,” with the words reptile and posts edited-in over whatever words were in the original meme.
Admittedly, when first posted and noticed in my feed, I quickly glanced at it, thought, oh that’s crass, won’t click like on this one, then kept it moving. A few days later, it caught wind and made the rounds again, and I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss it. But now, after much deliberation, I’ve once again come full circle and think this one should just be left to quietly die.
Let’s unpack, reflect, and ramble on a bit about why. Please don’t be afraid to share your feelings in the comments below.
The Meme…
The meme is from Family Guy, which I’m sure a majority of you are familiar with as it’s a show many of us grew up watching. The show is famous for its satirical humor and poking fun at sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, much like the meme it generated.
In this particular clip, Peter has a flashback to a get-rich-quick scheme where he oversees a farm in his basement managed by a rat named Armando and his wife (who of course isn’t named despite being the butt of the “joke”). Armando isn’t able to pay his rent, so Peter overtly insinuates that Armando’s wife offer sexual favors in exchange. The wife cries then begrudgingly obliges, stating that it is “for the children.” Peter laughs menacingly, and the scene ends.
The cutaway scene is, at its core, a narration on common sexual violence against female migrant farmworkers, as well as a general commentary on the prevalence of “tit for tat” sexual coercion. It’s 30 seconds unrelated to anything else in the episode but is characteristic of the type of burlesque you’d see in that cartoon.
Comedian or nah…
The episode aired April 2006, and I don’t remember hearing anything about it at that time. Then again, Facebook was still limited to college kids, so the rise of social media as a news source had yet to take off.
With that in mind, how many of you have watched Family Guy? 🙋🏽 Or re-enacted the funniest parts of a Dave Chapelle sketch? 🙋🏽 Who among us has cringingly laughed at Daniel Tosh’s stand-up? 🙋🏽
Why are we entertained by one, yet appalled by the other? Where’s the dividing line?
Is it who’s behind it- in this case a black man taking aim at another marginalized group within his online community vs an internationally known comedian?
Or the method of delivery- a personal instagram post vs a widely acclaimed show?
Double standards
Alas, the implication of the meme remains- judging women for generating content consumed and encouraged by society. There were many who agreed with the message in the meme, as there are social media accounts (including my own), where women show some skin alongside their reptiles. Much of the criticism was focused on how women are “thirst-trapping” when sharing a photo believed to be immodest.
Thirst-trapping because it feels good to feel good in our own skin.
Thirst-trapping because external validation is a completely genderless, inherent human desire.
Thirst-trapping because it’s an art.
We all know sex sells, but it feels as if the only ones allowed to benefit are the consumers and not the producers themselves. What if the motivation is attention? Why is it so poisonous for women to seek it?
There are countless social media accounts where men show off shirtless bodies and shamelessly share selfies. Yet they are not viewed through the same negative lens and scathingly criticized.
Not that Girl
I was happy to scroll my Instagram feed and see so many lovely ladies showing their support for one another. The reaction photos posted in response to the meme echoed messages of body positivity, inclusion, confidence, and yes, sensuality. But I also witnessed internalized misogyny rear its ugly head.
Why do we feel the need to excuse our behavior when sharing selfies, thus perpetuating the negative stereotype of being “that girl,” whatever discriminatory flavor of the year it is this time?
That girl who’s “overt” sexuality or pride in her appearance means she lacks moral character or doesn’t deserve to share the same safe spaces as the good girls.
It’s as if to say, yes we support this, but we still need to separate ourselves… just in case.
Do the women who regularly post more sultry or titillating content not deserve the same respect?
How do we as women fight the subconscious and stop attacking ourselves?
Just a Joke?
I don’t watch Family Guy anymore, but I can still probably turn on an episode and find something inappropriate to make me giggle. I can compartmentalize the joke, and I don’t (consciously) think of the writers as misogynists, or anything else. They are simply turning cynical observations into humor.
So was this just a case of a regular guy and a meme gone wrong? Had it come from someone else, would we have shrugged it off? We certainly did in S4 E24 of Family Guy, and Seth Macfarlane was $50k richer for it.
This meme wasn’t directed at anyone in particular, so technically, it was up to the individual to take it personally. It was a sweeping generalization that, although crude, was not a call to action or direct threat. But we collectively just didn’t get the joke…because it wasn’t really there.
Slut-shaming in a small community that you’re closely tied to, using a cartoon strip rooted in rape, was not the move. It was too personal- an unwarranted attack against an even smaller class within the community.
However, in this case, distasteful humor became a catalyst for increased sisterhood in the burgeoning reptile-keeping hobby.
What was accomplished?
Women and non-binary reptile-keepers banded together online, some becoming more comfortable with their bodies, and others finding a moment to speak up about double standards or experiences with inequality. And I was happy to have discovered some fabulous new Instagram accounts to drool over.
Quite honestly, I think that’s a good enough step in the right direction.
That post got so much more attention than necessary, and I think we instead need to focus on elevating the positive. The internet truly is a cruel and dangerous place. And you’re damned either way. So let’s scroll past the crap and continue to share our #snelfies however we choose.